Like so many Americans, our family is still adrift in a post-Covid sea of changing holiday traditions. Additionally, we have experienced a significant amount of loss. We lost my Dad in August of of 2020, and lost a beloved aunt just this summer, with whom we had spent every Christmas Eve for decades.

It’s been a time of change and adjustment. For the first time in my own life, I have found the holidays to be a trying time. In a season of forced good moods and seemingly joyous gatherings, the pallor of a loss, or change such as we have experienced, can make the holidays a very bittersweet time of year.

Then, there’s the crushing capitalism of it all. In addition to the pressure of feeling the spirit of the season, one is also obligated to spend three full mortgage payments on gifts for everyone in your family and social circle. What is supposed to be a season of peace and joy has festered into a time of debt and depression.

While these criticisms of the yuletide weeks are not new, they are perhaps more pervasive than ever. Anecdotally, I’ve noticed so many more folks in my life who have grown weary of the holidays and the attendant expenses, and expectations. It seems that I am not the only who is feeling less joy this year.

I’ve also long been skeptical, and at times, even scornful of holiday music. Most of the time, I find it cloying, overplayed, and trite. There are obvious exceptions. Even I can find the joy in the camp for a brief period of the season, but I do not need nine weeks of ‘Last Christmas’ for Chrissakes!

Growing up as a kid, as much as I loved Christmas, I never really loved Christmas music except to sing along. Special shout out to A Christmas Together by John Denver and The Muppets, which is still a sacred piece of vinyl in our home. So the idea that I would ever write a holiday tune seemed incredibly unlikely. Of course, when I finally did write one, it would be all sad bastardy.

There is truly so much to love bout this time of year. We are given a rare opportunity to slow down for a day or two to be with the people most important in our lives. Instead of embracing that and finding ways to spend that time together, we have created a whole set of rules, obligations, expenses, and expectations that mostly obscure the true joy of the holidays; the people.

Like almost all of my first person tunes, this one is directly from the heart. It captures the possible joy of the season, but also exposes the obligatory nature of it. In the chorus, I am happy to see the people I love, but I know deep down that I do not feel the peace and happiness with them that I used to. I hope that one day that returns.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones, however and wherever you celebrate.

For now, friends, This Is Christmas.

Peace and love,Matty C

Special thanks to my incredibly talented friends David Baldwin (guitar, organ, backing vocals) and Adam Aymor (pedal steel) who also made this recording extra special.